Friday, September 17, 2010
Hey, let me introduce myself again.
I'm an ordinary girl, who lives in a miserable life, the life is, being bullied, not being trusted by friends, often get lonely, a crybaby, often get teased, trapped in the dark. Is these facts enough? Well, I know it's negative thinkings.
I want to lost all my memories, forget my bad memories, which is trapped in my mind, that I've struggling to get out of my mind, but it can't, blahblahblah. Get it?
Today, I'm taking PSLE Listening Comprehension, I'm not saying this. Oh crap, it remind me some someone. Practically, there's a girl, a friend of mine, sitting next to me during Chinese class, a friend who is quite close to me. She ignored me and being very cold to me today.
No no, not only today, but also few days ago, after she misunderstood me of something. I really want to ask her.
"Hello? Why are you cold to me? What I did? I can just say sorry, apologise for my mistakes! What happened to you? You are being friendly to me this morning and ignore and being cold to me later! Hello? I'm not your dog, I can't really just follow you around, I have my own freedom too. Why always I hang out with other people and you became angry or ignoring me? And, I have my own privacy. You're actually trying to read the note, of course, it's secret. And what? You're angry of that? I mean you ignore me and being cold to me after that. You always wrote something in the notes and I wanted to see, but you don't let me sometimes, I didn't get angry. Or maybe you're angry not because of that or other reasons. You can at least tell me what's wrong!!! You're being unreasonable, I don't get it. "
Yes, she's being cold to me after the misunderstanding part. And she's being quite friendly to me after sometimes, and get cold to me and IGNORE ME AGAIN! And my thoughts are.
"Are you alright? Did you take medcine? Do you know who am I? You're changing very fast."
And please, I have lots of things I wanted to tell her, something like:
"Please change your attitude, stop scolding vulgarities, pointing middle finger, flirting with boys, act proud, at least, walk properly, and don't always give people a face of like 'very 'piss' of you'. I sometimes get angry with you as you sometimes take my things without permission, and use my pen, highlighter or whatever draw on my papers. And, bully Jean or my other friends or anything whatsoever. RuanQian is my friend, can you don't at least give her some 'piss' or unfriendly face? She has feelings too!"
All I want to say is, I lost all my trusts which I 'gave' to my friends. I don't trust anyone in this world anymore, sorry to my Best Friends for a while, give me some more time and I'll 'give' you 'back' my 'trust' in you again. If you want to blame, blame those people who don't trust me. Or the one that I can't even trust again.
Babo, schmuck, !@#^&*#$@#.
I'm a human too, I have a feelings, so, don't treat me like a dog, that makes me follow you around, obey you. I can't bottle up my feelings already. Come on, it's almost 2 years. What you want? I'm becoming sick of you. Please, give me a reason, just a reason. Is it very difficult to? I won't force you. If you really think I'm a bad friend, or whatever. Don't come near me, you don't deserve a friend like me.
Haters, I've given you last warning, better tell me who are you, I'm not going to trapped in the dark again, not knowing all the truth. Tell me now, I won't hate you, but I'll try to stay away from you.
Once again, sorry for not updating my blog, and being so untrustworthy or whatever you think bad about me. *bow*
Lastly, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. Thank you.
"Behind every successful person, there is a bunch of haters. Be wise & never let them drag you down." - anonymous.
I hope I can find my true friend, a friend that won't betray me.
flashbacks of the past [7:44 PM]
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