Nitex_

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

I am so so so so so so sooooooo frustrated. Ugh!!

It was the release of O level results on Monday and in my own opinion I did far better than I expected, I'm happy with it. Before & during my O's, I have no idea what course I should aim for in poly because really, non of them appeal to me so my friends & I set a goal, which is, to go tampines jc. 13 points!!!

I scored really badly in my prelims, with L1R5 of 25 points. Horrible, really. Well actually I deserved it because I didn't really studied that hard during prelims haha. I had study leave for a week since I scored L1R4 of 19 and below, that's when I told myself to not slack off & really put in real efforts. Despite the study leave, I still went to school everyday at 8am to study, to consult teachers, etc., and then to leave the school at about 6+.

After getting my results, I was really surprised to see that I passed HCL, to get A2 for science & b3 for English! After bonus points I'm just nice qualified for tpjc. Sure, I AM happy, but I'm really frustrated whether to go jc or poly. The reason why it sucks is because I went to poly and jc open houses, went for consulting with the lecturers/teachers, my own teacher, seniors, friends, I'm still confused with what I want. The worst is that I have to make my final decision by 4pm tomorrow. Gah!!! 5 days to make our decision is way too short! Gosh, I can't make up my mind.

I got different opinions from many people, it's just ugh!

My father & sis wants me to go jc because they think it's much better to be in jc. The only thing that matters to them is me entering an university. Well, okay, me too. My brother, however, thinks that I should go poly instead because he knows how tough Jc is.

I'm fine with poly but the school of business needs a lot of group work & presentations which I really really dislike it. I would rather just sit down and read my book/notes, do my own thing & not socialize with people. Yes, that's how introvert I am. Even in secondary school, the word 'project' makes me frustrated because sometimes the people I work with are really stuck up, irresponsible, etc. GPA GPA GPA GPA GPA

I have no clear future, but if you were to ask 'poly or jc?' Scenarios of me being in jc will pop up in my head, i even know what my mind is thinking but lol.

Ahhhhh what should I do!! Most people are telling me jc suits me while some others told me to go for poly. I don't even know what my heart wants, lol. I'm so screwed.

flashbacks of the past [5:58 PM]

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*[[___ welcomee `-//*

lazy days
lonely nights
looking for a lonely star
who'd keep me company

looking at the widespread sky
being me a lonely soul
gazing at the moon so bright
making wishes upon a star

a blow of breeze
to animate
the freezing scene

so the strings of white gold ribbons
seem to tease the lonely moon
because it is standing still
and they are free to move

"twinkle twinkle little star . . . "
I used to sing when I was young
now I've grown but still today
" . . . how I wonder what you are"

lying down upon the meadows
dream of flying up so high
reach the stars, sit on the moon
dancing ballet with the clouds